Xieli, America
I
used to be someone who would chase after the trends of the world, I
wanted to abandon myself to a life of pleasure, and I just cared about
the pleasures of the flesh. I would often go with my friends to KTV all
night long, I would go for joyrides in the middle of the night, would go
fishing out on the ocean, and travel all around in search of fine
foods. I’d see others around me, and they too were all striving to eat
well, wear nice things, and enjoy good things. I felt that these were
the things that a man must work for in his life, that this is why a man
must work hard to earn money, that this is the goal in life that
everyone should have. Only with these things would life not be in vain.
In order to obtain these things, I didn’t care what distance I had to
travel, so I crossed the ocean to come to America, and after struggling
for several years, I opened my own business. I had my own car and my own
house. I was living the blessed life that I had dreamed about. Every
day I would eat, drink and pursue pleasures until I was full and my
heart was content. I thought that it was only by living in this way that
life had any meaning, and that is until I received the work of Almighty God in the last days. Only after experiencing the judgment and
chastisement of God did I become aware of what a truly significant life
is, and then I set out walking down the bright path of life.
In
May of 2016, my wife passed on to me the gospel of the kingdom of
Almighty God. Through reading the word of Almighty God, I became aware
of God’s six-thousand-year management plan to save mankind, and I also
came to understand that Almighty God is the Jehovah God who led the
Israelites out of Egypt, that He is also the Lord Jesus who redeemed
mankind by being nailed to the cross, and that now He has returned in
the flesh to express the truth and carry out the work of judging,
cleansing and saving man…. Before too long, I started participating in
church life at The Church of Almighty God and there I came into contact
with the brothers and sisters of The Church of Almighty God. I saw that
they were all very sincere, there was no pretense or empty pleasantry in
the words that they spoke, and to be in contact with them gave me a
feeling of liberation that I had never felt before.
When I started
attending church gatherings I felt fresh, and I wanted to gather
together with the brothers and sisters and properly pursue the truth and
pursue a change in my life disposition. But, since up until this time I
had coveted the comforts of the flesh and pursued life’s pleasures, I
couldn’t help living in my corrupt disposition even though I had the
desire to congregate and pursue the truth. One time when a friend
invited me over for dinner, it was during the same time as a church
gathering, which made me feel very conflicted inside. Should I go or
should I not go? I thought this question over to myself: It has been a
long time since I went out to have fun. It isn’t easy for my friend to
invite me today, so I should go. After all, my friends don’t invite me
out every day, and I can just go to the church gathering next time. So, I
claimed that I had something to do and dropped my plan to go to the
church gathering and instead went out to the dinner. We ate, we drank,
we went to KTV, but on the way back home I didn’t feel any sense of
happiness inside. Deep in my heart I felt a kind of indescribable
emptiness, and I also had feelings of guilt. I thought back to the past.
When I was at the meal with friends and fellow villagers they were all
extra cordial to me at the dinner table, but behind my back they were
racking their brains, scheming, trying to figure out how to swindle me
for my money. Dealing with all of them made me feel so tired. I simply
could not find anyone to talk to about the things that I cared about. I
went out today and drank and ate to my heart’s content, and I have also
satisfied my friends, but what did I really gain? I felt empty and
helpless, I felt that I had let God down, and I felt sorry to my
brothers and sisters.
However, this emptiness in my spirit, this
feeling of self-blame I had still could not free me from the enticements
of the world of sensual pleasures. In my heart I was still yearning to
abandon myself to a life of pleasure, to things that belong to the
flesh, but God arranged things and set up an environment in a practical
way to change my erroneous views on pursuing. With National Day coming,
my wife suggested to me: “Let’s just have a simple celebration, and then
with whatever time we have left over we can read some more of the word
of God and watch some videos from God’s family so that we can be
equipped with more of the truth and understand God’s grace of
salvation.” But I did not really take my wife’s words to heart, and
instead started making preparations for how I was going to celebrate the
holidays. I carefully chose what route I was going to take, and I went
to the market and bought all the food and other things I would need. I
decided to go with my wife to the seaside and have our own little
barbecue. So when National Day came I brought my wife with me and we set
out happily in the car. Unexpectedly, there was a traffic jam the
entire way, and halfway through the trip we realized that the GPS was
not working properly so we were going the wrong way. It was not easy to
get to our destination, and in the end, once we got to the seaside the
winds were very strong, making it impossible for us to have our
barbecue. So my wife asked me to turn the car around and go back home,
but I was not willing to do so. I insisted that we keep on driving in
search of a nearby park where we could have our barbecue, but the three
parks we went to were filled with people, and there wasn’t even anywhere
to park. Only after all this did I reluctantly turn around to drive
back home. The road home was just as heavily trafficked as before. We
had originally set out to barbecue for lunch, but it was now already
past 4 p.m. and we still had not cooked anything. We were starving.
Ordinarily I feel that I’m in the right and full of self-confidence, and
at this time I did not have a temper, and there was nothing that I
wanted to say. I just sat in silence and drove back feeling unhappy. It
was at this time that the car in front of me suddenly slammed on their
brakes, and so I had to quickly step on mine. Although I didn’t hit the
car in front of me, I was rear-ended by the car behind me. Fortunately,
nobody got hurt, and only the surface of the car got a little dinged up.
I knew that God permitted this event, I was not looking to blame the
other driver, and so I just drove off. I thought to myself: Hey, all
those careful plans I made for the holiday were a wasted effort, it
really is true that plans can never keep pace with changes, and
everything is arranged by God. It had just been one thing after another,
and I felt full of regret. I really should not have gone out today to
abandon myself to life’s pleasures. I should not have relied on my own
temperament!
When we arrived back home my wife and I read several passages from the word of God together: “More
and more people treat records of the work of God and His words during
the Old Testament age as myths and legends. In their hearts, people
become indifferent to the dignity and greatness of God, to the tenet
that God exists and holds dominion over all things. The survival of
mankind and the fate of countries and nations are no longer important to
them. Man lives in a hollow world only concerned with eating, drinking,
and the pursuit of pleasure. … Few people take it upon themselves to
seek out where God does His work today, or to look for how He presides
over and arranges the destination of man” (“God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “It
seems like a world of gaiety and splendor, one that is becoming more
and more so. When people look upon the world, their hearts are drawn to
it, and many are unable to extricate themselves from it…. If you do not
strive for progress, and are without ideals, you will be swept away by
this sinful wave” (“Practice (2)” in The Word Appears in the
Flesh). The words of Almighty God make the essence of the trends of the
world very plain and clear. The trends of the world are just Satan
seducing man and making him depraved. They are just tricks and schemes
meant to devour man. Satan just uses eating, drinking, the pursuit of
pleasure and other things that conform to the flesh to deceive man and
tie man down. Once man’s heart becomes possessed by these things that
belong to the flesh he will no longer be inclined to pursue positive
things, and he will become more and more distant from God, which will
cause him to be devoured and captured by Satan. Through reading the word
of God I came to realize that my views on pursuing were all completely
wrong. Regardless of what I’m concerned with, whether it be eating,
drinking, pursuing pleasures of the flesh or seeking a life where I am
above others, these things are all a result of Satan corrupting the
human race. I have confirmed through my own experiences that when one
pursues these things that belong to Satan they will only become more and
more depraved, and more and more loose and debauched. It will just add
to their greed, their selfishness, their wickedness and their treachery.
They will be living in sin, and they will be without normal humanity.
Even if man enjoys more and more of these things, even if man obtains
more and more of these things, in the end, they will still be in an
empty space. If man possessed all these things but did not come before
God, life would still be in vain, and it would be without significance
or value. Only by coming before God and believing in God and worshiping
God will man be going down the path of living a proper life, and only
then will man free himself from a life of emptiness and evil. So, I
decided to change the way I live my life and walk down the right path of
life.
When I saw my brothers and sisters actively expending
themselves for God, when I saw their devotion to performing their duties
and their pursuit of meaningful lives I too then felt the desire to
pursue these things and live the way that true people live as required
by God. So, in addition to regular gatherings, I also wanted to find the
time to perform my own duties. It was at this time that the church
arranged some duties for me. They wanted me to drive a car to take two
of our sisters somewhere, and they wanted me to pick them back up next
week. The first time that this duty was handed down to me, I happily
agreed to it. But when they left, I started to have second thoughts and
even felt some regrets: “Oh man, the day I’m supposed to take these
sisters is supposed to be my day off, and next week I have to go pick
them up. I’ll have to wake up super early on those two days. It doesn’t
matter how long the trip is, but the important thing is that it’s really
easy for that road to get congested with traffic. It’s best to go early
in the morning because then there are fewer cars, but who’s to say how
long I’ll be stuck in traffic on the way back? All my time will be
wasted sitting in traffic, and I won’t have my day off….” When my wife
heard me complain like this, she fellowshiped with me: “Performing your
duties is not as simple as what you’ve imagined. It definitely will
involve you putting the truth into practice. To practice the truth is to
forsake the flesh, and it means you will suffer hardships and pay a
price. Think about it, you used to go out and drink, eat and pursue
pleasures, and even if you didn’t really have fun after a tiring day,
you would never complain. But now you have been assigned a task and need
to spend some of your time on it, and you need to go down a path that
has hardships, but in your heart you do not want to do this. This duty,
although on the outside it seems like something that was arranged for
you by your brothers and sisters, in reality it’s not for a particular
person you are performing this duty, but it’s for satisfying God and
repaying God’s love. This duty has been given to you today, this is God
uplifting of you, and this is God’s love coming down on you. You ought
to cherish this. Don’t leave yourself regrets on your first duty.” After
she said this, she read me a passage of God’s word: “Everything
you do requires you to pay a certain price in your efforts. Without
actual hardship, you can’t satisfy God, it does not even come close to
satisfying God, and you are just saying empty slogans! Can these empty
slogans satisfy God? When God and Satan do battle in the spiritual
realm, how should you satisfy God, and how should you stand firm in your
testimony to Him? You should know that everything that happens to you
is a great trial and the time when God needs you to bear testimony.
Externally, they might not seem like a big deal, but when these things
happen they show whether or not you love God. If you do, you will be
able to stand firm in your testimony to Him, and if you have not put the
love of Him into practice, this shows you are not someone who puts the
truth into practice, that you are without the truth, and without life,
that you are chaff! Everything that happens to people is when God needs
them to stand firm in their testimony to Him. Nothing major has happened
to you at the moment, and you do not bear great testimony, but every
detail of your daily life relates to the testimony to God” (“Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
When
I finished reading the word of Almighty God, when I finished listening
to my wife’s words, then I realized that God giving me this duty was Him
giving me a real test, to see whether or not I could satisfy God and
endure hardships. But I only considered the interests of my own flesh,
and my personal gains and losses. I was not willing to suffer and pay a
price while fulfilling my duties; instead I was complaining about
things. I saw that I was being extremely selfish, that in my heart
fleshly delights like drinking, eating and other pleasures had already
surpassed God’s status. I was perfectly happy to spend whatever I had,
to pay any price in order to eat, drink and pursue pleasure, but when I
was given a duty that required me to suffer and pay a price I started to
calculate my own gains and losses, and I was unwilling to practice the
truth in order to satisfy God. These thoughts and actions of mine would
let Satan laugh at me, and not allow me to stand witness before God.
After I came to understand these things I quickly came before God and
prayed that He could give me the will to ensure that I could forsake my
flesh and no longer follow Satan, so that I could stand witness before
God and defeat Satan in the spiritual fight that I was in! After I
changed my attitude about the duty, in my practical cooperation, I
indeed saw God’s blessing. It didn’t matter whether it was when I was
taking the sisters to their place or picking them back up, in neither
direction did I come across large traffic jams. It had completely
exceeded my imagination, and my conceptions were truly countered. I
experienced for the first time the feeling of peace and happiness that
performing duty brought to me, and I also saw that when people forsake
the flesh and practice satisfying God, God will not only pave the way
for them, but also allow them to understand the truth and see His deeds.
I suddenly felt that this made me happier than going out on vacations
or eating extravagant meals. As it turns out, doing this on a day of
rest truly isn’t a waste of time. It’s actually quite significant!
Within
these practical experiences I was able to know for myself what the
sweet taste of forsaking my flesh and performing the duty to satisfy
God. I saw that all that God does is in order to save me from the dark
influence of Satan, so that one day quite soon I can walk down the right
path of pursuing the truth. These things are all of God’s love and
God’s salvation. A few days went by and then I received a call from one
of the brothers. He asked me whether or not I was willing to go to
another state to pick up some brothers and sisters, and I agreed to it
without the slightest hesitation. This time when the duty came upon me, I
did not feel complaints. I was perfectly willing and happy to do what I
was supposed to, and the whole trip went unimpeded. After I delivered
the brothers and sisters to their destination safely, I felt very proud
of myself, because this was the first time that I had performed a duty
willingly, without any impurities. This also taught me that performing
the duty that a creature ought to perform is truly the most significant
thing one can do. I was no longer wanting to drink, eat and pursue
pleasures, I was no longer wanting to pursue the pleasures of the flesh,
and all I wanted to do was pursue the truth, accept the truth and
practice the truth, so that someday soon I can become someone who truly
loves God. These little things in my life have come to change me in ways
I am unaware of. My life is no longer rotten and depraved like it was
in the past. I have started to change and actively work toward things.
It’s as if I have started a brand new chapter in my life. In my heart I
feel sweetness and pleasure that I have never before experienced, and I
am thankful to Almighty God for leading me down the bright path of life.
All glory be to Almighty God!
from The books of Eastern Lightning How I Turned Back to Almighty God
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