By Si Ming, South Korea
In the early morning, I sat at my small desk by the window, quietly watching the dance and song video The Happiness in the Good Land of Canaan. My heart soared with the melody and I smiled unconsciously. I truly felt the peace and sureness of coming before God.
I Fall Into Sin and Live in Emptiness and Pain
I came to South Korea a few years ago in order to make more money. After a period of hard work, I gradually began to live a more prosperous life, but in my heart I often felt empty and hollow. My friends would often invite me out to eat and drink alcohol, and to go to karaoke bars and the like to sing and dance. Often, we would get home late at night. At that time, popular sayings amongst us were “Seize the day for pleasure, for life is short,” “Get drunk today and worry about things tomorrow,” and “Take advantage of being young to eat, drink and be merry and enjoy our lives, as when we get old, we won’t be able to enjoy anything.” These sayings struck a chord with me and I thought that this must be how we should live our lives. Afterward, every time my friends got together and went out, they always asked me to go with them. It just so happened that I didn’t have anything to do after work and was bored anyway, so I always went with them. When we went somewhere to eat, we would eat and drink like a band of brothers, talking and laughing, and feeling very happy. After eating and drinking, we would go to karaoke bars and other places to sing and dance. After our feasting and revelry, I felt that being with such a big group of friends, talking, laughing, being together with them and having such great fun, was really great. Sometimes, they didn’t want to go out, but I did. In that kind of situation, any tiredness I felt from work, all my frustrations in life and anything I wasn’t happy about disappeared in an instant. Gradually, I came to believe that it was stupid not to eat, drink and be merry in life, and that this kind of life was the only one that brought joy and that lifted me above the drudgery. After work, I drank without inhibition almost every day, but afterward, in my free time, my heart would still feel empty and desolate. I couldn’t help but wonder: Why do people live? How can I fill the void in my spirit?