Zhang Ren Jiangxi Province
My
name is Zhang Ren, and I’m a Christian in the Church of Almighty God.
Since I began to know things, I saw my parents labor hard in the fields
from morning till night every day for making money. Although they
exerted much effort, they couldn’t earn much money after one year’s
labor. So my family had been living a very poor life. When I saw those
influential people live well without needing to labor hard, I envied
them from the bottom of my heart. And I made a firm resolution that I
would build up a career or get an official post after I grew up, so as
to shake off our poverty and backwardness and let my parents live the
life of the rich. However, after I strived for this ideal for years, it
was still not fulfilled, and we still lived a very poor life. I often
felt depressed and sighed for my accomplishing nothing, and I gradually
lost my confidence in life. Just when I was discouraged and disappointed
at life, Almighty God’s end-time salvation came upon me. From Almighty
God’s word, I knew the root of man’s suffering in living in this world
and also understood how to live in a most meaningful and worthy way.
From then on, I, lost and helpless, found the direction of life, came
out of depression and decadence, had vitality and vigor, and saw the
hope of life. Later, in order that those who still lived in misery and
helplessness could also receive this rare salvation, I ran around
preaching God’s end-time salvation actively. But unexpectedly, during my
preaching the gospel, I was arrested by the CCP government twice and
suffered brutal and inhuman tortures…. In the dark den of the devil,
Almighty God had always been with me, and his word gave me faith and
strength, leading me to overcome satan’s influence of darkness time
after time, so that my love for God became stronger.
It was one
day in June 2003. When two brothers and I were preaching the gospel in a
village, an evil man reported us. Afterward, five or six cops came in
three police cars. Without asking anything, they handcuffed us, and then
kicked and pushed us into the police cars and took us to the Public
Security Bureau. In the car, I didn’t feel very frightened. I thought
that since we preached the gospel for people to be saved and we had done
nothing wrong, as long as we said it clearly there, the cops would
release us. However, I never knew that the CCP police are even crueler
than those ruffians and villains. After we got to the Public Security
Bureau, the cops began to interrogate us separately without giving us a
chance to explain. As soon as I entered the interrogation room, one evil
cop roared at me, “The CCP’s policy is to be lenient to those who
confess and harsh to those who resist. Do you know it?” Then they
questioned me about my personal information. Seeing that my answers were
not to his satisfaction, a cop came near to me, snorted and said, “You
are dishonest. If we don’t give you some color, you won’t tell the
truth.” Then he waved his hand and said, “Get a few bricks and torture
him!” As soon as he finished his words, two cops came to me, pulled one
of my hands backward over my shoulder and pulled the other backward up
my waist, and forcibly pulled them together and handcuffed them.
Immediately, my arms ached unbearably as if they were broken. How could
I, who was weak, stand such torture? After a short time, I collapsed on
the ground. Seeing that, the evil cops pulled the handcuffs and lifted
them up forcefully, and then put two bricks between my hands and back.
Immediately, the sharp pain pierced my heart like numerous ants gnawing
my bones. In agony, I kept calling to God, “Almighty God, save me;
Almighty God, save me….” At that time, it was just about three months
since I had accepted God’s end-time salvation, so I hadn’t equipped
myself with many of God’s words and understood few truths. But, with my
constantly calling out to God, God gave me faith and strength, so that I
had a firm belief within: I must stand testimony for God and will never
yield to satan! So, I clenched my teeth and kept silent all the time.
The evil cops were exasperated. In order to subdue me, they used
malicious means: They put two bricks on the ground and forced me to
kneel on them, and then at the same time they lifted my handcuffs with
force. Immediately, my arms ached overwhelmingly as if they were broken.
I fought the pain to kneel for several minutes and then collapsed on
the ground again. The evil cops forcefully lifted my handcuffs again and
forced me to continue kneeling. Just in that way, they tortured me over
and again. It was the period of dog days. I felt painful and hot, with
great drops of sweat dripping down my face unceasingly. I felt so bad
that I couldn’t breathe and almost fainted. But that gang of evil cops
gloated aside, “Comfortable? If you still refuse to tell us, we have a
great many ways to torture you!” Seeing me give no reply, they said
exasperatedly, “You aren’t satisfied? Again!” … After being tortured for
two or three hours, I felt painful and weak all over, collapsed on the
ground unable to move, and even became incontinent. Facing the evil
cops’ cruel tortures, I really hated myself for being so blind and
ignorant before. I fondly thought that I would have someone to reason
with in the Public Security Bureau, and that the cops would do me
justice and release me. Unexpectedly, they were so fierce and cruel.
Without any evidence, they interrogated me by cruel tortures and tried
to fix me to death. They were really malicious to the extreme! Lying on
the ground, I felt as if I were going to come apart and could hardly
move. I didn’t know how they would torture me or how long I could hold
on. Painful and helpless, I could do nothing but keep crying to God
inwardly to give me strength, so that I could hold on. Then, God pitied
me and made me remember God’s words, “Now is the crucial moment.
Do not lose heart. Do not be discouraged. Look forward in everything
and do not walk the way back. … As long as you have one breath left, you
should persist to the end. Such is a good one.” (from “The
Twentieth Piece of Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s words
gave me great faith and strength. Right! Since I’m walking a bright and
just way, I should have faith to walk along it. Even if I have just one
breath left, I’ll hold on to the end! God’s word, with life force, gave
me the faith and courage to continue fighting against the devils, and
gradually I recovered some strength. Then, the evil cops continued to
question me and kept stomping my feet fiercely, grinding them into a
bloody pulp, but I didn’t feel any pain. I knew that was God’s wonderful
deed. It was God who showed mercy to me and sympathized with my
weakness and relieved my pain. Later, the evil cops detained us on the
charge of “disturbing the social order.” That night, they handcuffed us
separately to a big concrete block weighing about three or four hundred
jin. We were handcuffed there until the next evening, and then they sent
us to the local detention house.
After I entered the detention
house, I felt as if I had fallen into Hades and hell. The prison guards
forced me to thread colored lights. At first, they ordered me to thread
6,000 a day. Later, the quantity was increased day by day, and it grew
to 12,000 a day in the end. Because of every day’s overwork, my fingers
were broken, but I still couldn’t finish the task. Having no choice, I
had to do threading around the clock. Sometimes, I really couldn’t bear
it and wanted to doze off. But once they saw that, I would be beaten up.
The prison guards also publicly instigated the prison bullies, saying,
“If these prisoners can’t finish the task or do well, you just give them
two shots of ‘penicillin.’” The so-called “penicillin” is that one
thrusts his knee into a prisoner’s crotch, then strikes him on the back
hard with an elbow when he bends down from pain, and then stomps his
instep with his heel. Such brutal means can sometimes make one faint on
the spot or even be disabled for life. In the demonic prison, every day I
did heavy work and got beaten cruelly. Moreover, the three meals we ate
each day were even worse than what pigs and dogs eat. The vegetables we
ate were radish leaves and swamp cabbage without any oil or salt.
(Rotten leaves and roots, sand, or dirt were often mixed in them.) And
the rest were a cup of water discarded after washing rice and 150 grams
of rice. My stomach rumbled from hunger every day. In such an
environment, my only reliance was Almighty God. Whenever I was beaten, I
desperately prayed, asking God to give me faith and strength, so that I
could overcome satan’s temptation. After being afflicted and tortured
for over twenty days, I was only a shadow of my former self: My limbs
were weak, I couldn’t stand up, and my hands were too weak to spread.
However, the frenzied guards not only shut their eyes to me but also
pocketed the several hundred yuan my family sent to me. Later, my health
was declining. I was so weak that I began to complain in my heart, “Why
do we have to undergo such suffering in believing in God in this
country? Isn’t it for saving others that I preached the gospel? I didn’t
do anything bad….” The more I thought, the more I felt distressed and
mistreated. So I could only keep praying to God, asking God to pity and
save me. In misery and helplessness, God led me to think of a hymn of
God’s word, “Maybe you all remember this word: ‘For our light
affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding
and eternal weight of glory.’ In the past, you all heard this word, but
none of you understood its true meaning. Today, you deeply know its
real meaning. This word will be accomplished by God in the end time, and
it will be accomplished in people in the place of the great red dragon
who are cruelly persecuted by it. Because it is the persecutor of God
and the enemy of God, people in this place all suffer humiliations and
persecutions for believing in God. So, this word is accomplished in you
group of people. Because the work is carried out in the place that
resists God, all God’s work is greatly hindered, and many of God’s words
cannot be accomplished in time. Thus people suffer refining because of
God’s word. This is also a part of the ‘affliction.’” (from
“God Has Paid All the Price on You” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New
Songs) God’s words gave me great comfort and encouragement and made me
understand God’s will. Because we believe in God in an atheistic
country, we’re bound to be oppressed and persecuted by satan the devil.
But it’s worthy and meaningful to undergo such suffering, and it’s
permitted by God. Through such persecution and tribulation coming upon
us, God works the truth into us, so that we’ll be qualified and capable
to inherit God’s promises. The “suffering” is God’s blessing; it’s a
testimony of God’s defeating satan and also a powerful evidence of my
being gained by God. Today I undergo such persecution of the devil
because of following God; this is a special favor to me. I ought to
accept it gladly and readily. I also remembered the words God spoke in
the Age of the Grace, “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
(Matthew 5:10) At that time, I had more faith and strength: No matter
how satan the devil tortures me, I will never yield to it and will
pledge my life to stand testimony to satisfy God! God’s words, with
authority and power, removed my desolation and helplessness within, and
relieved the pain of my flesh which was greatly afflicted, so that I saw
the light in darkness and also felt stronger and had more strength in
my spirit.
Later, without any evidence, the CCP government
forcibly sentenced me to one year of hard labor. When the evil cops
escorted me to the labor camp, the officer dared not accept me for fear
that I would die because he saw that I was skin and bones, no longer
like a man. So, the evil cops had to take me back to the detention
house. At that time, I had been tormented by the evil cops too much to
eat anything. However, they not only didn’t give me medical treatment,
but instead, they said that I was pretending to be sick. Seeing that I
couldn’t eat, they asked others to pry my mouth open and force me to
eat. Seeing that I couldn’t swallow, they beat me. I was forced to eat
and beaten by them like a toy three times. Seeing that I really couldn’t
eat, they had no choice but to take me to the hospital. After the
examination, it was discovered that my blood vessels were already
hardened, and my blood was black and pasty and could hardly circulate.
The doctor said, “If this man continues to be imprisoned, he’ll
certainly die.” But the vicious evil cops still didn’t let me off.
Later, I only had a faint breath left, and the prisoners all said that I
was hopeless and would surely die. At that time, I felt greatly
distressed in my heart, “I’m so young and I have just seen God’s coming
again and haven’t enjoyed many beautiful times, much less seen the day
God gains glory, but I’ll be tortured to death by the CCP government.
I’m really unwilling. I bitterly hate this gang of conscienceless
demonic cops, and even more bitterly hate the CCP government, the evil
party that pushes reactionary policies and goes against Heaven. It
deprives me of my freedom of following the true God. It attempts to put
me to death and doesn’t allow me to worship the true God. This heinous
satan the devil is indeed God’s irreconcilable enemy, and even more is
my mortal enemy. Even if it tortures me to death today, I’ll never yield
and give in to it!” In indignation, I thought of God’s words, “The
hatred of the ages is kept in heart; the evil of all ages is borne in
heart. How could this not arouse people’s hatred? Avenge God, and
exterminate this enemy of God thoroughly. How dare it be rampant, and
how dare it kick and run amuck frantically! Now is the time. People have
long readied all their strength to consecrate all the effort and all
the price to this, tearing up the ugly face of this devil, and causing
those who are blinded and suffer hardships and afflictions to rise up
from the miseries and rebel against this old devil!” (from
“Work and Entering In (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) Pondering
God’s words, I saw more clearly the CCP government’s maliciousness and
cruelty. And I realized this: Now I’m facing a war between life and
death, justice and evil. The CCP government tortures me so much just in
order to force me to reject and betray God. But God reminds and
encourages me to stand strongly and transcend the bondage of death and
bear an overcoming testimony for God. I can’t be passive and despondent.
I’ll try my best to cooperate with God, obey God’s manipulation and
arrangement, obeying unto death like Peter, and bear a strong and
resounding testimony for God to comfort his heart at the last moment of
my life. My life is in God’s hand. Although satan can torture and kill
my body, it can never hinder my heart from believing in God and pursuing
the truth. Today, I don’t care whether I can live on, but only wish to
commit my life to God and submit to his manipulation. Even if I’m
tortured to death, I’ll never yield to satan! When I was ready to give
up my life and resolved to bear testimony for God, God made a way out
for me, raising up those prisoners to feed me. At that time, I was very
moved in my heart. I deeply knew that God was by my side and was with me
all the time and that he had been caring for and keeping me,
sympathizing with my weakness, and arranging everything for me
carefully. In the devil’s dark den, my flesh was greatly afflicted, but
my heart didn’t feel so distressed or bad. Later, the evil cops
imprisoned me for 15 more days. Seeing that I was already breathing
weakly and might die at any time, they had to release me. Within nearly
two months after I was imprisoned, I, who weighed over 50 kilos before,
was reduced to a skeleton about 25 to 30 kilos by the torture, and was
at death’s door. Even so, those devils wanted to fine me 10,000 yuan. In
the end, as my family really couldn’t afford the money, they forcibly
demanded 600 yuan for my food expenses and then released me.
After
I suffered the CCP government’s brutal and inhuman torture, I felt as
if I made a trip to the gate of hell. I could get out alive completely
because of God’s care and keeping, and it was God’s great salvation for
me. Thinking about God’s love, I was greatly moved within, and I felt
more deeply that God’s word is precious. So, I read God’s word thirstily
every day and often prayed to God. Gradually, I had more and more
knowledge of the work of saving man which God does in the end time. As
time went on, under God’s care, I was restored to health little by
little. Afterward, I began to preach the gospel again, testifying God’s
end-time work. However, unless and until satan collapses, it won’t stop
disturbing and destroying God’s work. Later, I was arrested frenziedly
again by the CCP police.
One day in November 2004, the wind was
piercingly cold and a heavy snow was falling. Several brothers and
sisters and I were secretly shadowed by the CCP cops while we were
preaching the gospel. At 8 p.m., we were having a meeting. Suddenly
there was a rapid knocking and shouts, “Open the door! Open the door!
We’re the police! If you don’t open the door, we’ll break it down! …”
Without thinking further, we hurriedly hid the VCD players and books
away. After a short time, five or six cops broke in like bandits and
robbers. One of them roared angrily, “Don’t move! Squat down against the
wall with your hands behind your heads!” Then, the others rushed into
each room and searched the whole house. They took away four portable VCD
players and some books on believing in God. After that, they forced us
into police cars and took us to the police station. On the way, thinking
of the scenes of my being tortured cruelly by the evil cops last year, I
couldn’t help feeling nervous. I didn’t know how they would torture me
this time. I was afraid that I couldn’t bear their cruel tortures and
then would do things of betraying God. So, I prayed to God desperately
in my heart. Suddenly, I thought of God’s words that were fellowshipped
about at a meeting the other day, “I am full of hope for all the
brothers and sisters and believe that you will not be discouraged or
disappointed, and that no matter what God does, you will all be like a
basin of fire, and will not be cold but can endure to the end, until
God’s work is completely manifested….” (from “The Way… (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) “Let’s
all swear before God: Endeavor together! Be faithful to the end! Never
part! Be together forever! I wish that all brothers and sisters can make
such a resolution before God, so that our heart will never change and
our will will never waver!” (from “The Way… (5)” in The Word
Appears in the Flesh) God’s words shocked my heart deeply, “God comes to
the earth from heaven and has gone through innumerable hardships to
work to save man. He hopes that man can be faithful to him to the end
and never leave him in any adverse environment. I, as a person who is
selected by God and enjoys the supply of God’s word, should offer up my
whole being to God. No matter what great sufferings and tortures come
upon me, I should be full of confidence, and my heart for God shouldn’t
change, and my will shouldn’t waver. I should bear a resounding
testimony for God, and can never yield and give in to satan, much less
betray God for an ignoble existence. God is my reliance and even more my
strong rear guard. As long as I truly cooperate with God, God will
surely lead me to defeat satan.” So, I made a resolution to God
inwardly, “O God! I’m ready to give up my life this time, and I must
stand testimony for you. No matter what sufferings I undergo, I’ll hold
fast to the true way and never yield to satan! …” Encouraged by God’s
words, I was full of confidence and had the faith and resolution to give
up everything to bear testimony for God.
After arriving at the
police station, the evil cops hurried to the fire stove to warm
themselves up, and they questioned me harshly with fierce looks, “Speak
quickly! What’s your name? How many people have you preached to? Who do
you contact with? Who is your leader?” Seeing that I said nothing, one
evil cop showed his beastly nature. He rushed toward me and fiercely
held my neck and kept hitting my head against the wall hard. I felt
disoriented with my ears buzzing. Then he raised his fist and hit my
face and head violently. While hitting me, he cursed, “Shit! You’re a
leader, aren’t you? Say it! If you don’t tell me, today I’ll hang you to
the roof and freeze you to death!” The evil cops kept beating me up for
at least over half an hour. I was beaten so hard that I saw stars and
my nose bled unceasingly. Failing to get any result from me, they
escorted us to the Public Security Bureau. On the way, when I thought of
the evil cops’ fierce beating just now, I couldn’t help feeling a wave
of fear, “They laid such malicious hands on me at the police station. If
I’m sent to the Public Security Bureau, I don’t know what cruel means
the evil cops there will use to torture me. I’m afraid I’ll be in danger
this time, and may not be able to get out alive….” Thinking of that, I
felt an inexpressible despair and sadness in my heart. In agony and
helplessness, I suddenly remembered the experience last year when I was
tortured so much that I was on the verge of death but God made me
survive miraculously. I felt enlightened in my heart at once, “Isn’t my
life and death in God’s hand? Without God’s permission, no matter how
satan tries to put me to death, it won’t succeed. In the past, I already
saw God’s wonderful deed, yet today how can I forget it? How can I have
no faith in God?” Then, I saw that I was really too small in stature
and that when I encountered the trial of death, I couldn’t stand on
God’s side. I couldn’t help remembering God’s words, “Living in
the mind, you will fall into satan’s trap and come to a dead end. Now,
it is very simple. Look to me with your heart, and immediately you will
be strong in your spirit and have ways of practice. I will lead you at
your every step, and my word will be revealed to you anywhere and
anytime. No matter when and where it is and how adverse the environment
is, as long as your heart looks to me, I will surely let you see
clearly, my heart will surely be revealed to you, and you will not get
lost when running forward.” (from “The Thirteenth Piece of
Word” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) God’s word is the guiding light,
making my mind clearer. I realized this: Now God wants to purify and
perfect me through such a hard environment, making me drop my own
notions and imaginations and only rely on God and act according to his
word at the time of danger and difficulty. This is just the crucial
moment when God leads me to experience his work. I’ll never draw back.
I’ll completely commit my life and death into God’s hand and rely on God
to fight against satan to the end. I can never miss this opportunity of
being perfected by God.
After arriving at the Public Security
Bureau, the cops began to interrogate us separately. They continued to
force me to tell about things concerning my believing in God. Because I
said nothing all the time, an evil cop flew into a rage, “How dare you
play silent with us? I don’t have the patience!” Saying that, he seized
my collar with both hands, and fiercely threw me to the ground like
pitching a sandbag. Right then, the other evil cops came up together and
kicked and stomped me violently. I ached so much that I writhed on the
ground. And then they trod on my head and ground it violently back and
forth…. I was still not well enough after last year’s cruel tortures,
and today I suffered such a brutal beating again. Immediately, I felt
dizzy and sick. Severely painful all over, I huddled up. Then, the evil
cops forcibly took off my shoes and socks and forced me to stand on the
floor. My teeth couldn’t help chattering, and my feet were numb and
senseless with cold. I felt that I couldn’t bear any longer and would
collapse on the ground at any time. Confronted with the evil cops’ cruel
tortures, I couldn’t help burning with anger and being filled with
indignation. I hated those extremely ferocious devilish lackeys and the
evil and reactionary CCP government. It opposes Heaven and is hostile to
God. In order to force me to betray and reject God, it afflicted and
tortured me and attempted to put me to death. Facing satan’s cruelty and
ferocity, I missed God’s love all the more. For the sake of saving
mankind, for the sake of our future existence, God endures great
humiliations and sufferings and personally comes to the world to work.
He once laid down his life for us; now he expresses the words earnestly
and patiently and leads us to walk the way of pursuing the truth to be
saved…. Counting the painstaking care and price God has expended for
saving mankind, I felt that only God loves me the most and only God
values my life the most, while satan can only afflict me and devour and
kill me. At that time, I even more felt attached to God and adored God
in my heart. I couldn’t help praying to God silently, “O God! Thank you
for leading and saving me like this. Today, no matter how satan tortures
me, I will do my best to cooperate with you, and would rather die than
yield and give in to it!” Under the encouragement of God’s love,
although my flesh was tortured weak, I was strong and powerful within,
and I never yielded to the evil cops. They kept torturing me until 1
a.m. As they really couldn’t get any result, they had to send me to the
detention house.
After I was taken there, the evil cops instigated
a prison bully to fix me by every possible means. At that time, I was
already covered with bruises by their torments, limp all over, so I fell
headfirst to the cold floor as soon as I entered the cell. Seeing that,
the prison bully lifted me up without a word and swung his fist to
punch my head violently. I was beaten senseless and then collapsed on
the ground heavily. Later, the prisoners all came to tease me. I was
forced to put one of my hands on the ground and cover my ear with the
other, moving around on the ground like a pair of compasses. Seeing that
I collapsed dizzily after a few circles, they punched and kicked me
again. One of them gave me a heavy punch in my stomach and knocked me
out then and there. Afterward, instigated by the prison guards, the
prisoners tortured and maltreated me by various means every day. They
asked me to do all the dirty and hard work every day, such as washing
dishes and cleaning the toilet, and they even forced me to have cold
showers in snowy days. Moreover, each time I took the shower, they
forced me to soap myself down first, and then had cold water flow slowly
from my head to my feet for about half an hour. I was frozen purple and
shivered with cold all over. Facing that inhuman torture and
affliction, I prayed to God unceasingly, for fear that I would
completely become a captive of satan if I left God. Through the prayer,
God’s words were guiding me within all the time, “The overcomer
God speaks about is one who, under the influence of satan and the siege
of satan, that is, in the forces of darkness, can still stand the
testimony, and can still keep his original faith and keep his
faithfulness to God. In any case, you can still keep your pure heart
before God and keep your true love for God. Thus you have stood the
testimony before God. This is the overcomer God speaks about.”
(from “You Should Hold on to Your Faithfulness to God” in The Word
Appears in the Flesh) God’s word is light, the light to save man, making
my mind become clear. I realized this: When I’m besieged by satan, it’s
just the time for me to have faithfulness and love for God, and it’s
also the time for God to perfect and gain me. Although this hard
environment brings pains and torments to my flesh, there are God’s great
love and blessing hidden behind it. This blessing is the way of eternal life God bestows to man. So, when undergoing sufferings, I told myself
again and again, “I must endure to the end and accept God’s personal
perfection and purification of the end time. I should rely on God’s
leading to bear testimony for God in the devil’s dark den, and pursue to
be perfected by God to be an overcomer.” Under the guiding and leading
of God’s words, I became strong and powerful in my heart. Even if my
flesh was weak and painful, I still had faith to endure everything to
fight a life-and-death war against satan, and bear testimony for God
with my life.
After being imprisoned for over twenty days, I
suddenly caught a bad cold. I felt aching in my limbs, weak all over,
and was in a daze. As my illness got worse and the prisoners beat and
tortured me endlessly, I felt I could no longer hold on. I was very weak
and depressed in my heart, thinking, “When will such days of being
tortured and afflicted come to an end? Probably I’m going to be
sentenced this time, and there’s little hope of my getting out alive….”
At that thought, I felt as if my heart had fallen into the abyss all at
once. I sank in despair and misery and couldn’t extricate myself. At the
time of danger and difficulty, a hymn of God’s word resounded in my
ears, “God’s requirement is not that you have many pleasant
words or many gripping stories in your mouth, but that you bear a good
testimony for God and you go deep into reality in everything. … Stop
thinking about your own future, but do as you say in your resolution ‘to
submit to God’s manipulation in everything.’ All those who stand in
God’s house should do all you can and offer your best portion for the
last part of God’s work on earth. Are you really willing to practice
this way?” (from “Can You Really Submit to God’s Manipulation”
in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) Every word of God struck my heart
and made me feel disgraced and ashamed. I thought, “Before I wept
bitterly many times and resolved to be faithful to God and obey his
manipulation and arrangement in everything. But now, when God really
needs me to satisfy him with an actual price, I fear death, care about
the future and destiny of my flesh, and completely ignore God’s will,
only wanting to break away from the adverse environment and escape to a
safe place soon. I’m really so low and worthless, and my faith in God is
too little and my deception to God is too much. I don’t have true
consecration to God, much less any true obedience.” Then I understood
this: In God’s end-time work, what God wants is man’s true love and
faithfulness; this is God’s last requirement and charge to man. I, as a
believer in God, should commit my whole being into God’s hand, because
my life is given by God and my life and death are both decided by God.
Since I’ve chosen God, I should offer up myself for God and submit to
his manipulation. No matter what suffering and humiliation I have to
endure, I should be faithful to God by my actual actions and shouldn’t
have my own choice or demand. This is my duty and the sense I should
have. Today, that I can still have this breath and still live is
completely because of God’s keeping and care and the supply of God’s
life. Otherwise, wouldn’t I have long been afflicted to death by the
devils? The first time when I underwent such a great suffering and
tribulation, God led me to overcome it. So, what reason do I have to
lose faith in God now? How can I still be passive and weak and flinch
and escape? Thinking of that, I silently repented to God, “O Almighty
God! I’m too selfish and greedy. I only want to enjoy your love and
blessings, but I’m not willing to truly consecrate myself to you. Once I
suffer a little, I want to get free and escape. I’ve really grieved
your heart. O God! I’m no longer willing to continue to be depressed,
but willing to obey your manipulation and arrangement and accept your
leading. Even if I’ll be imprisoned for life, I’ll stand testimony for
you; even if I’m tortured to death, I’ll be faithful to you!” After the
prayer, my heart was moved greatly. Although my illness remained, in my
heart I had the faith and resolution to never give up until I satisfy
God. When I resolved to bear testimony for God even at the cost of my
life, God again personally made a way out for me. One morning, when
getting out of bed, I had no sensation in my feet. I couldn’t stand up
at all, much less walk. At first, the evil cops didn’t believe it. They
thought that I was pretending and forced me to stand up. But I failed no
matter how hard I tried. The next day, the guards came to examine me.
When they found that my feet were cold as ice, without any sign of the
blood circulating at all, they believed that I was really paralyzed.
Then, they informed my family to take me back home. On the very day I
arrived home, I regained the feeling in my feet miraculously and could
walk perfectly! I deeply knew it was all because Almighty God showed
consideration for my weakness and personally made a way out for me so
that I successfully escaped from satan’s den after being unlawfully
detained by the CCP government for one month.
In experiencing the
CCP government’s two times of arrests and brutal tortures, although I
suffered a little in my flesh and even nearly died, those two uncommon
experiences became a firm foundation on the way of my believing in God.
In sufferings and tribulations, Almighty God gave me the most practical
watering of the truth and life supply. It caused me to see clearly the
CCP government’s devilish face of hating the truth and being against
God, know its towering crimes of frenziedly resisting God and
persecuting the believers of God, and also experience the power and
authority of God’s word. I could narrowly escape death twice from the
CCP’s talons and it was completely the care and mercy of God’s love, and
was even more the expression and proof of God’s transcendent life
force. I deeply felt that at any time and in any place, Almighty God is
my only reliance and salvation. All my life, no matter what danger and
tribulation I may encounter, I’ll steadfastly follow Almighty God,
actively proclaim God’s word and testify God’s name, and repay God’s love with my true consecration.
from The Overcomers’ Testimonies
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